When a woman says, “On paper, I have an excellent husband,” what she’s saying...

When a woman says, “On paper, I have an excellent husband,” what she’s saying deep down in her subconscious is:

“I’m not attracted to him, I’m not in love with him, but he meets my checklist for financial and social security.”

She’s done the math. But there’s no polarity, no desire, just paperwork.

The woman in the video is frustrated because she has to mother her children, not even full-time, as they’re in daycare. She feels “taken advantage of” because she’s expected to fulfill the role of wife and mother.

She’s not mad that her husband failed to help. She’s mad that he didn’t act like a second wife. That’s what she really wanted: a co-wife. Someone to do half the chores, half the mothering, and share the emotional labor of domestic life, not a man to lead the household.

And to make it worse, the husband fell into the trap of asking, “What do you want me to do?” A fatal mistake.

He handed over the leadership role and became the follower. Then, when he inevitably failed to meet her constantly shifting expectations, she resented him. Not just for the chores, but for not being a man.

Here’s the truth: unless she has a full-time job, there’s no reason he should be helping with domestic chores. That’s her sphere, her domain. If they’re both working full-time, the solution isn’t to turn him into a maid, it’s to cut back her hours and restore balance to the home.

And parenting? That’s shared. But not identical. Young children, especially under age 7, need their mother more. As they grow older, especially sons, they need their father’s strength, structure, and guidance.

She says, “Society told us who we should be in marriage.” Wrong. The problem is that society stopped telling us who to be, no clear roles, no guidance, no training. So we end up with mismatched expectations, resentment, and confusion.

She was never taught how to be a wife or mother. Her husband was never taught how to be a husband or father.

She says, “The bar for moms is way up here, and the bar for dads is way down here,” But that’s not the real comparison. She’s measuring how much mothering is being done, not how well each is fulfilling their distinct roles. A father is not supposed to be the mother. He’s not her partner in chore division. He’s not a second wife. He’s a man.

Her use of the word “partner” says it all. Zero polarity. Zero attraction. She sees her husband as a woman with a beard. And that’s exactly how she treats him. And the tragedy? She spent 18 months browbeating him into submission. She forced him to become the co-wife she thought she wanted, and she will now resent him for it.

If your wife says she’s burnt out, don’t divide chores. Tell her to quit her job. Sit down, look at your finances, and figure out how to live on one income. In most cases, the second income is canceled out by daycare, commuting, extra clothing, and stress. You don’t need two incomes, you need one man leading and one woman building the home.

And why was she considering divorce? Not because he didn’t help. Because she no longer respected him. She was disgusted by his weakness, not the dishes in the sink. If he had been strong, masculine, leading the home, she wouldn’t even ask him to do the chores. She would have known better. And she would have admired him for it.

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